Byline: HANNAH JONES
I CAN'T imagine what it would be like to be pregnant. Swollen ankles women tell me (check, already).
Cravings (corned beef and onion rolls with a side of salt 'n' vinegar crisps this morning, then carrying a bottle of balsamic in my handbag just in case I see cheap, green bananas).
abercrombie wholesale There's irritability (my middle name), to mention nothing of the fact that you can't get any clothes to fit you (not that I can find Juicy Couture in sour sized anyway).
And mood swings of course (ARE YOU SERIOUS?!), and morning sickness (does too much Chinese food repeating on me the next day count? Thought so). You get to a point in your life where everyone around you seems to be having babies, or at least talking about them.
It's quite a strange concept when it comes to your friends having children, because if you're not a parent conversations often feel a bit alien.
And when they're born? You'd think your friends' personalities died a bit at the same time, or at least altered in a powder puff hue of pink and blue and booties and nappies and donkeywonkies and duckiwoos.... You get my drift I'm sure.
I have four friends with kids who've gone from being interesting in their own right to possessing one type of conversation which starts and ends in toddler talk.
Yesterday, for example, one formerly independent woman sent me six pictures - go on, count them again - of her two kids and her husband. Not much news there I suppose, but when her email was entitled "So Much Fun!" alarm bells starting ringing.
Fake Lateral shoulder bags Handbags The half a dozen pictures contained images of the three of them wearing comedy moustaches.
Six pictures of facial hair. On a grown man, a three-year-old and the little girl who's six.
Another pal can't have a conversation without bringing it back to her kid. We start out talking about something as ridiculous as wallpaper paste, and somehow she thinks that gives her an in to burble on about what My Little Genius did last week.
embroidered patches (Burped? Opened their eyes? Winked? Smiled? Passed the Mensa test?)
Of course, this doesn't mean to say that babies don't interest me at all.
In fact, we've got two child-related stories in today's Magazine, one from a second-time mum - broadcaster Louise Elliott - and another who thought she'd never have what she calls her "little miracle". That's newsreader Lucy Owen.
They're lovely stories, and enough to make a girl broody. But think of the stretchmarks! Oh, that's right, I can check another box already...
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